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1. Believe them. They may look perfectly healthy and seem okay when you look at them or speak to them, but the truth is they are fighting every day to live and function. Please don’t judge them based on the way they look. Internally they are exhausted, have brain fog, are probably depressed, and feel very afraid that this is what their life will be like forever.

2. Ask how they are doing. When you have Epstein Barr/Chronic Fatigue you have to cut down on your social interaction because it simply is too much for your brain and takes up too much energy. You end up feeling really alone. Just send a quick text, email, or even leave a voicemail. Showing love through communication is very healing for people.

3. Understand when they cancel. People who have Epstein Barr/Chronic Fatigue aren’t trying to hurt your feelings or be a bad friend. Literally one day of socializing can mean being more fatigued than usual for 2 weeks. Sometimes people who have EBV have to see how they are feeling that day and make plans by the day because they never know what their energy and brain function will be like.

4. Understand that they are not lazy and unmotivated. Your friend or family member may have to quit their job or work less hours. They may have loved to do art before or sing and now it seems they have stopped doing their passions in life. This is not by choice…this is by need. Ebv can make you too tired to work or even do things you once loved to do.

5. Offer to help. Offer to help clean their house, stop and get them groceries, take their dog for a walk, help with their children. They may decline you, but be persistent they really need your help. It’s even hard to have the energy to shower when you have Ebv. Help them with something that could be hard for them to do at this stage of their Ebv.

6. Listen with a kind ear. They may call you and talk about their symptoms and how they are feeling. They just need someone to listen to them because they are struggling big time.

7. Be aware that treatment is really expensive. Some people don’t understand that the Western medical system does not recognize EBV to be as serious as it actually is. According to Western medicine there is no treatment for it. So most likely your friend and family member will have to seek out a holistic Dr and alternative care. There are actually a lot of treatment options that can get your family/friend feeling better…they just aren’t covered by insurance unfortunately.

8. Suggest for them to seek out support. You may not really understand how they are feeling and what they are going through. There are support groups online, on meetup.com, on Facebook, and locally. Support can help a lot and also give them information about treatment options.

9. Don’t see them as a victim. Having EBV is one of the worst things that can happen to someone. When it attacks your body…your brain…and you lose your normal functioning. It is so devastating. Please see them as healing themselves and encourage them to do so. They will need your encouragement because there will be many dark days ahead.

10. Do your own research. Learn as much as you can about EBV. This will help you understand more about your friend/family member. It will help them feel loved and that you are taking to the time to understand them and their situation.

Thank you so much for reading this. I wrote this to help friends and family of people suffering with EBV and those suffering with EBV.