Trusting the Desire to Change

Trusting the Desire to Change

By Tiffany Powers

June 2021

As thinking, feeling human beings, we are hardwired to resist uncertainty and change. Uncertainty creates a strong, mostly unpleasant response in our brain’s limbic system. Even the thought of newness or change can sometimes create stress and uncertainty. 

Sometimes our desire to maintain the status quo in our lives prevents us from making changes in our careers, our relationships, or our living arrangements. Even the thought of making major changes is overwhelming. This resistance leads us to stay in our comfort zones too long, even when it’s no longer as comfortable as it once was. 

One obstacle we face in making meaningful changes is just recognizing when we are not fulfilled. We don’t always realize that there is something better out there waiting for us – a more fulfilling career, true love, or our dream home. 

The good news is that humans are uniquely flexible and adaptive creatures – we can train our brains and ourselves to accept and even welcome change. Below are some tips for trusting yourself to make powerful changes in your life.

• Believe that you are a powerful creator and can create change in your life whenever you want. 

• Tell yourself that change does not need to be scary or traumatic. It can be done with ease and positive energy.

Instead of thinking “Ugh, finding a new job means learning something new and starting all over again,” rephrase it as “I’m so excited I get to learn something new! What a great opportunity!”

• Start with small, manageable changes.

For example, instead of making your goal “to find a new career,” start small – promise yourself you will update your resume today. Tomorrow, make your goal to sign up for a job search engine.

• Write down the specific changes you wish to see.

Instead of just thinking “I promise I’m going to get healthy this summer,” write down “I will drink eight glasses of water a day and stick to one cup of coffee in the morning,” and put that on your refrigerator or somewhere else you can see it.

• If you are the logical type who likes to weigh options, make pros and cons lists to visualize the outcome of the changes you’re considering.

• Meditate on the idea. 

Be open to all ideas. What is next? Be open to soulmates, places to live, what you want in your career. 

• Make a concrete plan to execute these changes.

There are some great goal planners/journals out there. Invest in a cute one that you like. It will help you break your goal into small steps and keep you accountable. 

• Ask someone you trust to be your accountability partner. 

Explain your goals to them and have them check in with you once in a while. Knowing we are accountable to someone else is very motivating. Let’s face it – we’ll let ourselves down, but we hate letting others down, right?

Lastly, be definitive and swift once you make your choice. The more committed you are to your decision, the more quickly you’ll see energy moving in your desired direction. You will reach your goals much faster. 

Not choosing is also a choice. If you spend too long pondering a decision or change, you stay stuck. Know that you are the author of your own life and that you can change the story starting right now!